Fredrica’s mother-in-law, Bonnie.
“C’mon Bonnie, let’s go out,” I say, as I clip on my earrings and get ready to leave the house. But Bonnie isn’t a person or a pet—she’s my late mother in law, who passed away over 25 years ago. Bonnie made those earrings by gluing clip-backs to two pewter-colored buttons. When I wear them, I feel that I am bringing the spirit of that practical, frugal and creative woman with me.
About ten years into my career as a college professor, I attended a remarkable session at an Association for Consumer Research conference. The presenters had embarked on a “Consumer Behavior Odyssey,” traveling the country and interviewing people about their possessions. We were treated to video excerpts of the interviews—from a Mickey Mouse memorabilia collector to a woman describing cherished furniture made from trees that had grown near the family home.
Through this ethnographic methodology, the researchers uncovered what they called the “deep meaning of possessions.” The focus was shifted from the purchase process (of most interest to marketers), to the consumer’s own experience of and relationship with objects during the consumption stage.
The bottom line was that possessions can hold deep meaning in our lives, whether helping us to extend and enhance our identity, or giving us special powers. I like to introduce my marketing students to this concept, and have them consider the “magical” properties of a lucky hat, pen, or piece of jewelry, or the emotional connection they may have to a favorite pair of jeans or a treasured gift from a loved one.
Bonnie’s homemade earrings made from buttons.
As a Waste Watcher, I am concerned about responsible consumption and resource conservation. But I also appreciate the emotional role that even the simplest possessions play in our lives. Some are stored with memories, some are sacred to us, and others bring us joy every time we use or wear them. This can make it hard to give things away, but it can also reduce the need to purchase more “stuff.”
I could never love a new car as I do my old but jaunty blue VW Beetle. Why buy a new pair of boots, when my favorite pair just needs some polish and a bit of glue to re-attach the lining? And Bonnie’s button earrings will always be special and irreplaceable.
So let us pause and pay tribute to the possessions that enhance our lives. Do you have a “love story” to share?
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This really hits home. At this stage of life, I have inherited ‘heirlooms’ from my grandmother, mother-in-law, and mother. It is a wonderful thing to remember and honor the spirit of the beloved ones when wearing their things.
I’m with you, Marge. Some of the most satisfying experiences with my possessions are wearing clothes and jewelry from my mother, grandmother and great aunt.
And I so enjoy wearing my late husband’s old vest – it’s keeping me warm this winter!
I have found that by visiting our local re-use center (located at the regionally operated dump) and retrieving and re-using everthing from a coat, pair of winter boots, clothes bureau, snow shovel, dishes, silverware, decorative items of all kinds, bird houses… the list is very long- that I satisfy any urge to shop. Over time, I have found I rarely buy anything other than groceries. I do feel guilty about still feeling the need to take home more things even if they are used and might be discarded and buried in the dump if I or someone else did not take them home. At least I feel less ostracized for my frugality today, though now it is not so much a financial need as a need to waste less of our worlds resources and better appreciate all that we have-especially all that nature gives us every day-as opposed to things.
When I get right down to it, of my many possesions, some of the simplest and of least monetary value hold the most meaning-some for sentimental reasons, some for their beauty (of which may be limited to my eyes), some for their utilitarian value, and some for reasons I cannot explain-they just appeal to me-broken lid and all. Some I have brought home just because I noticed no one had taken them after many days at the reuse center, and like the toys on the misfit Island, I felt a need to help these abondoned items that we had used Earths resources to create, yet now have discarded. Find them a new home I will-and eventually do.
I expect each item that shows up at the re-use center has a story to tell, just as I find many pieces of litter that I pick up have a story to tell. (That is where my web site title came from ” Litter with a story to tell” . )
Thank you for sharing your stories. Read my folklore story titled “Nothing to waste” on my web site @ http://litterwithastorytotell.blogspot.com/2011/11/nothing-to-waste.html
And my essay on free time titled “The best things in life arent things”. @ http://litterwithastorytotell.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-best-things-in-life-arent-things.html
P.S. I have added your web site address to my web site on the right column under Zero Waste heading.
Bernie Paquette
Vermont
Bernie,
I found this comment so inspiring and reaffirming for all I’m trying to do with WeHatetoWaste.com that I took the liberty of sending it to, via email, to all of our subscribers! We will post a link on our blogroll to your fine blog as well. (That may take a couple of days.)
I hope you’ll subscribe (see button top right on page), and stay in touch. I look forward to receiving your posts, and knowing that more great wastehaters are out there doing their part!
All the best to you,
“Junky” Jacquie Ottman
Hi Jacquie, It’s great to “meet” Bernie P., a sensitive soul and great writer, too.
His sensitivity towards the “soul” of things is greatly moving, and helped me understand why I love the schoolhouse clock in my living room — a clock that told time in the early 20th century home of my great grandmother and her six daughters who lived together in Waterbury, CT (probably where the clock was made) for many years. Most of the daughters were teachers and therefore spinsters as was the custom then (although they each had a different stockbroker, or so goes the family lore). I would so love to hear what the clock saw and heard. It is is off duty now, but, if asked, still can tell the time . . . that is if I don’t forget to wind it.
I’m with you, Stu. One of the very first posts I published on this blog was entitled, http://www.wehatetowaste.com/the-older-it-gets-the-longer-it-lasts .
It was about a clock that I remembered from my grandmother’s den. It has far outlasted many a Sony, many a Panasonic, without missing a beat. I don’t know how it does it. Do you?
Hi Fredrica,
When I was reading your post, I could not help but think of my grandfather. He is a man that has a passion for resource utilization and recycling in the truest sense of the term. Since the 1960s, he has been making compost in his back yard!
One of my grandfather’s deepest loves is golf. When I was a child I would go to his basement to learn how to swing a putter. The best part about this experience was sifting through the hundreds of clubs that he accrued over his life to find the exact one I wanted. When I was old enough to have my own set of golf clubs, I could not wait to go to my grandfather’s house to pick out my first set. They weren’t by any means the best clubs on the market, but to me, they might as well have been made of 14-karat gold. The emotional connection that I made with golf came from playing with my grandfather during my youth. No set of clubs could ever compare to the mismatched pieces I put together in his basement. For this reason, I never feel the need to go out and buy new clubs! Plus, at the rate we are going, my grandchildren will be saying the same thing.
Thanks for the inspiring post.
David
This post really affected me because I always wear rings that belonged to both of my grandmothers. I always feel like I have them with me where ever I go, and they also prove to be great converstation starters when people ask about them and I can tell the stories behind the rings. Some are family heirlooms from other countries and one was made when my mother was in college. Wearing these I feel like it helps me to connect with the history of my family in a completely different way than anything else. I have also found that the mere presence of the rings helps me to remember lessons that the widom of these remarkable ladies have taught me. I truely believe that its the older, more loved things that provide the most comfort, not necessarily the new things that we at times buy ourselves to cheer us up after a bad day.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful story. Learning what matters and treasuring it is a precious gift.
For another example of our often sentimental relationships with possessions, a new book and website are devoted to “Worn Stories” about clothing and memory. You can read about them here: http://tmagazine.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/08/15/greta-gerwig-marcus-samuelss%3Eon-and-others-tell-stories-about-beloved-garments/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0
I love the positive spin on emotional attachments to physical objects; I myself have been known to develop attachments to certain things as seemingly replaceable as a pair of sneakers. Of course, whether sentimentality becomes productive by preventing waste or becomes counterproductive by encouraging more purchases (and preventing donations) is very much nuanced and situational. Even more than this, I love the idea of bringing human emotion into discussions of sustainability, as it certainly warms a process that can often come across as strictly involving sacrifice. Furthermore, contemplating the sentimental and practical values of items can also foster a sense of gratitude and mindfulness of one’s possessions, thereby making people more aware of what is actually worth buying and helping to prevent excess.